New Year’s Surprise

She sat in the midst of her friends, cradling a glass of red wine. She stared morosely at the liquid and frowned, as if contemplating the future she could see at the bottom of the glass.  She could see turning thirty five soon and being alone, except for the many cats that crowded her apartment.  Nevermind that she didn’t actually have a cat just yet.  Maybe she’d get one just so she could have some company at home.  Her apartment had felt so empty since her boyfriend, Vaughn, had left for California two months ago.  She sighed.

Laughter ebbed and flowed around her, all of her friends were getting ready to ring in the New Year. She steadily ignored them, swallowed up in her own thoughts. One of them, a big guy she knew was all heart, wrapped an arm around her and gave her silent squeeze before moving on to talk with someone else.  She glared at his back as he walked away.  She knew she was grumpy and should probably go home, rather than bring her friends’ New Year’s celebration down.  She couldn’t bear the thought of staring at her four walls though as the clocked ticked to midnight.  She scowled at the cranberry red wall ahead of her, instead, focusing all of her cranky energy on it.

The room around her became quiet suddenly.  Her friends whispered and looked towards the door.  Some were smiling joyfully at her, hope evident in their expressions.  Others kept glancing worriedly in her direction, their expressions otherwise neutral.  She frowned around at all of them.  Was she being that much of a downer for the party? Did they want her to leave? No, someone new must have arrived.  She craned her neck to see who it might be.  The crowd slowly parted to show her a view.  All it took was the sight of the blue scarf loosely hanging around his neck for her to realize who it was.  She couldn’t believe what she saw though.  She’d made that scarf last year as a birthday gift for Vaughn.  He was in California though.  Had he given the scarf to someone before leaving for the warmer climate?  She felt her face heat up with anger.  She stood up, ready to storm from the party after giving them all a piece of her mind. 

The angry words melted in her mouth, along with the tension in her muscles, when she saw the face above the scarf. Shock held her still, her numb hands dropped the glass of wine she’d been nursing.  She stared at him with wide eyes and an open jaw.  He was supposed to be somewhere on an airplane. He’d called her that morning to wish her a Happy New Year early because, he’d said, he had to be on a flight that night and wasn’t sure he’d be near a phone at midnight. His blue eyes, which matched the color of the scarf, sparkled.  His lips curved in that soft smile he’d always saved just for her.

An Unexpected Reunion, Part Three

I looked around the chaos surrounding me.  It’d be an amazing feat if I could find Simon and his children in the press of people that were thronging in the center of the mall.  Santa held court in the middle of it all, his winter wonderland was the only place in the mall not filled with a press of impatient bodies.  I saw a couple getting up from a spot on the wall surrounding Santa’s peaceful haven and quickly moved to take their place.  I was close enough to the long line of short tempered parents and screaming children that I could keep watch for Simon, but not so close that I was being deafened by the wailing.  Watching one mother try to coax her reluctant toddler closer to Santa, I shook my head.  I promised myself that I’d never inflict the experience on one of my children for the sake of a photo with a man wearing a fake beard. 

Christmas music blared from somewhere above, competing with the chatter of all of the people.  I began to wonder if it was worth trying to see Simon here.  It was too noisy to be able to speak with him, if I ever even found him.  I sighed and sipped from the hot chocolate I’d bought on my way through the mall.  It was still hot enough to scald my tongue, so I held the paper cup in my hands to keep them warm.  It wasn’t all that cold in the mall, but my hands had felt icy since the earlier phone conversation with Simon.

I checked my watch for the third time.  Six fifteen, it said, and still no sign of Simon and his children. I sighed and shifted on my hard seat.

“There she is,” Simon’s voice cut clearly over the din.  I turned my head to look and saw him just a few feet away.  Riding his hip was a little girl, her brown curls caught up in two little pigtails.  Her big brown eyes were scanning everything around her, as if she was fascinated by all of the sights and sounds.  I guessed she looked more like her mother, since I could find little of Simon in her features. 

I looked towards Simon and saw a defiance in his expression that I couldn’t explain.  He lifted his chin and stepped closer to me, the people milling between us seemed to melt away.  I could help but run my gaze over his body.  He’d filled out since we had dated and he was now taller, broader of shoulder, with more defined muscles.  He had been a handsome, wholesome teenager, but now he was a rugged man with an aura of tragedy clinging to him.  Maybe it was just that I knew about his wife that I thought that, though.

“Daddy!” A high pitched voice wailed from behind him and he turned.  He reached a hand out and another little girl with the same big brown eyes and curly dark hair stepped forward.  She wore a fancy dress, with tights and black patent leather shoes.  She looked at her father with wide eyes.  “Daddy, me and Grammy didn’t like that.  Why did you runned?”  I looked back to him in time to see his cheeks flushing red and I grinned.

“I didn’t want my friend to think I’d forgotten about her, Effie.  I told you that we were running late.” His eyes met mine and he smiled wryly.  I looked at him, holding one daughter and grasping the hand of the other, with his mouth quirked in a small grin and I felt like I’d seen it all before.  It was like a vision from my teen-aged dreams of happily ever after and it made me want to cry for what we’d lost because of my fear and inability to talk with him about it.  I clutched my cup of hot cocoa tightly, staring at the black lid so I didn’t give away my thoughts to Simon.

“Effie, this is my friend Dana. Say hi.”  I looked up to find that the little girl’s eyes were  narrowed as she studied me.  After a minute of intense scrutiny, her suspicions seemed to melt away.  She smiled brightly and chirped, “Hi!”  I smiled at her and said hello.  She hid part of her body behind Simon’s leg but continued to study me and smile at me.

“And this is Bridget.”  He nodded to the baby in his arms who waved her arms and said, “Dadadadada!”  I grinned at that. 

“They are beautiful, Simon,” I said.

“Thank you.  And you remember my mom, right? Mom, come up here where Dana can see you.” His mother stepped from behind him and she glared at me.  I was taken back by the hostile expression she turned on me.

“Dana. It’s…nice to see you again.”  It was obvious that Simon’s mother was gritting her teeth against some harsh words that were longing to escape from her.  I sighed and figured I’d never live down the insult I’d given to her son years ago.

“It’s great to see you, Mrs. Wright.” It was good to see her, I didn’t lie.  She had been a second mother to me through high school, and I think I had broken her heart along with Simon’s when I’d broken up with him.

“I hope you haven’t been waiting long,” Simon said.

“Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!” Effie was tugging on Simon’s pants.  “Look, Daddy!  There’s Santa! I want to go say hi to him!”  She let go of Simon and took off through the crowd towards Santa.  Simon shouted “No! Effie!”

He suddenly shoved the baby into my arms and took off at a run to catch up with Effie.  Her pigtails were flying behind her and she shouted, “Santa!”  I hastily set the hot chocolate down on the wall and stood up to hold the baby more easily.

The baby in my arms wiggled and I turned my attention to her. Up close, I could see that her hair was actually more red than brown.  She looked at me, her eyes wide. I thought she seemed to be trying to decide what to make of me. I jiggled her up and down, settling her on my hip and she grabbed a hold of my shirt to keep her balance. 

“Dada?” she said. 

“Daddy will be right back, Bridget,” I said.  I figured it was only a matter of time until she started howling at me, a stranger, holding her.  I looked at Mrs. Wright and she seemed tensed and ready to grab the baby from me at the slightest sign of distress.

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Wright.” I said softly.  Her eyes darted to my face and she frowned.

“What are you sorry for?” she asked.

“Everything.  For the distant past when I hurt Si so much, and for the more recent past, when your family suffered such a loss.” I nodded at the baby in my arms.

“Well, Dana, I’d like to say it’s just a part of life, but truthfully, I’m still angry at you for how you hurt him.  As for Simon’s wife, well, none of that was your fault.  You, at least, had the decency to leave him alone when you decided to discard him.  Not like some girls that hang all over their exes and never let them move on.”  Mrs. Wright sniffed disdainfully.  I had the feeling there was someone in particular she was referring to, but I didn’t dare ask about it.

The baby in my arms cooed softly and snuggled her head against me.  She was warm and soft.  She smelled like baby powder.  I realized I was rocking back and forth in that comforting way I’d seen my sisters use when they had babies.  I’d teased them for their “mommy dance” when their kids were young and they’d always said, “Just wait, Dana! You’ll see!  You’ll do it without even thinking of it.”  I’d never noticed myself doing it when holding their babies, but here I was holding Simon’s baby and unconsciously rocking.  I suddenly found it hard to breathe.  I couldn’t help but settle the baby closer and lean my cheek against her soft hair.  My eyes closed and I inhaled her clean baby scent.  I felt like I’d been given a glimpse of heaven.

Read the whole story here: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten, and El Fin

An Unexpected Reunion, Part Two

When I got back to my parents’ house, it was amazingly quiet and empty.  A note on the kitchen counter said that my parents had taken the posse of grand-kids off to do some shopping and would be back in a few hours.  There was an added note from my brother that he and his wife had also gone shopping and planned to be gone until dinnertime.  Of my sisters, there was no sign and no note. Shrugging, I wandered up to the room I was sharing with my nine year old niece to do some of the work I’d been neglecting since I had arrived.  Playing with my nieces and nephews was much more fun than working, however much I loved my work. It was hard to sit and write in the midst of the family chaos.

It was my habit to spend a few minutes warming up my fingers by writing whatever came to mind.  Then, I’d move on to writing for my assignment, whatever it happened to be.  That day, my mind could not be swayed from the topic of Simon, of his dead wife and orphaned children, and of the relationship he and I had shared so long ago.  Why had I run into him now?  Why not five years before?  Why had we broken up to begin with?  I was sure I had forgotten something from that time, because all I could remember were the good things about our relationship.

He and I had laughed together, played together, talked endlessly and our dreams had coincided in exhilarating ways.  Despite having both come to the relationship as virgins, we were good together sexually speaking. In fact, I still remembered him as one of the best lovers I’d ever had.  The world I remembered from those days had seemed right and good.  After we had broken up, my world had never had the same sweet simplicity as it did then. 

Was it just the blissful ignorance of childhood?  Did I suddenly enter the world of adulthood when he and I had broken up?  I remembered that I’d done the breaking off, but it hadn’t been a reason that I’d consider valid since I’d grown older.  It had seemed so large an obstacle then, to be faced with the possibility of a pregnancy.  I had broken up with him after a traumatic pregnancy scare because I didn’t want either of us to sacrifice our dreams to a baby.  I hadn’t wanted him to have the chance to resent me for destroying any chance he’d had of reaching his dreams.  I knew that if we were together, we’d want to make love.  I knew that if we weren’t careful, making love would result in a baby.  I just didn’t feel it was worth the risk. I hadn’t told him this rationale.  I had told him that we were growing apart, going off to college, and I felt like our relationship had grown as far as it could.  It had hurt to tell him that.  I had loved him so much. I had honestly felt I was doing what was in both of our best interests though.

My thoughts were interrupted by the distant ringing of the house phone.  I heard clattering feet running to answer it, and I realized my parents were home with my nieces and nephews.  Then I heard Callie, my sister’s four year old yelling, “Aunt Dana!  The phone’s for you!!!”  Could it be Simon? I wondered.  I didn’t think he would call so quickly.

I trotted down the stairs, dodging toys and excited little bodies as I went.  It amazed me that between my three siblings there were ten children.  I adored them all, but I couldn’t help but be in awe of how many there were.  Finally I stumbled over little Callie where she was crouched by the kitchen door, hiding, I guess, from one of her cousins. 

“Oh yes, Simon! We’d love to see you and to meet your little girls.  You know you’re always welcome in our home, darling.”  My mom’s eyes darted to me.  They held worry, warmth, and a healthy number of questions.  But I knew she’d wait to ask.  She was the soul of discretion.  “Any way, Dana just got to the kitchen, so I’ll let you talk to her now.  It’s been good to hear from you, dear.” There was a pause and she smiled at something Simon said. “Yes, I know. Ok, dear. I look forward to seeing you soon,” she said and then she passed the phone to me.

“Hello, Simon.” I said.  I grabbed a coat that looked like it would fit from the hooks by the back door and went outside to talk where it was less noisy.  It would have been nearly impossible to find my own coat, so I didn’t bother, but the coat I’d chosen was on the snug side.  It must have belonged to one of my almost teenage nephews.

“Hey, Dana.” I could hear little girls chattering in the background.  “Listen, I’m not sure getting together would be such a good idea.” His voice, normally so warm and rich sounded flat and dead.  I frowned.

“I just wanted a chance to talk, Simon.” I had felt quietly excited that he’d called so soon, but now I felt a deep disappointment. He didn’t want to see me again. I sighed.

“I just don’t see what we have to talk about, Dana.  What we had was so long ago and,” A tiny voice said, “Daddy! Bridget stealed my toy!” “Just a minute, Dana.” She could hear that he was talking, but it was muffled as if he’d covered the mouthpiece before talking to his daughter. “It’s just not a great time for me, Dana,” he said when came back on the line.

“I see.”  We both fell silent. He told Bridget not to play with the phone. 

“Well, if we have nothing of the past to talk about, fine.  But I’d really like to meet your daughters, if that’d be ok.”  I hoped I didn’t sound as desperate as I felt when I said that.

“Coffee shops aren’t really kid friendly, Dana.” His comment was droll, a parent talking to a non-parent, as if having to spell out the ways of the world.

“No, of course they aren’t!  We’ll just have to meet somewhere else.  Maybe the mall?  Does it still have that play area at the center?”

“No, at this time of year it’s Winter Wonderland, with Santa and all.”  I heard Effie chanting “Santa Claus! Santa Claus!” in the backgroung and I could hear an adult’s feminine voice speaking, although I couldn’t decipher the words.

“It’s ok, Mom.  It’s my fault, I shouldn’t have said the name.  I know better.” So it was his mother speaking behind him.  To me, he said, “Ok, Effie wants to go meet the man in the red suit and I told her earlier that we could go tonight.  Can you meet us at the mall around six?”  I checked my watch.  It was already five o’clock and I was expected to be around for dinner.  I had a feeling my mom would understand though.

“Six o’clock, it is, Simon.  I’ll meet you by Santa, then?”

“By Santa. Six o’clock.  Don’t give up on me until six thirty, if I’m not there on time. I’m still getting the hang of getting places on time with two kids in tow.” Again that droll humor was apparent in his voice.

“Alright, Simon.  I’ll see you there.  Bye for now.” I listen to him say goodbye and then I hung up the phone.  I stared out over the backyard where I’d spent many hours playing as a child.  And over on the porch, to my left, was the old porch swing where Simon and I had spent hours snuggling as teenagers.  Before that, I remember cuddling up between my dad and my sisters in that swing.  We used to sit out there on dark summer nights and look out at the fireflies flashing in the yard.  I went and sat down on it now, swinging gently back and forth.  I sighed.

I didn’t know what I was hoping to accomplish by meeting Simon’s daughters.  I didn’t know what I wanted from Simon.  There were emotions stirring in my heart that hadn’t moved since I had left Simon behind and gone to college.  Was that why they were dancing now?  Did I need Simon to bring that part of my heart to life?  I groaned, I just didn’t know.  What I did know was that I needed to go make my excuses to the family and get out the door to the mall so that I wasn’t late.

Read the whole story here: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten, and El Fin