My Wee Little Gnome

A long time ago, a little garden gnome with a red hat stole a sock from my overnight bag.  I was at my friend’s house, and we couldn’t find the sock.  But we both could swear there was a little gnome in the house stealing socks.

At college, the little gnome would steal pages of my homework and leave it in odd places I’m quite sure I’d never leave them.  He still had a liking for my socks, too.

When I had kids, the little gnome would take the kids’ socks.  He took many more of their tiny baby socks than he ever took of mine.  It was astounding how many of their socks would disappear.

One day I found his stash under my couch.  I could never figure out why he would put them there, but what do I know?  He never stuck around long enough for me to ask.

Then one day, my kids had both gone to school and I was idly folding laundry.  My cat was sitting beside me, purring as usual, hoping to get my attention.  From under the cabinet that holds my TV strolled a little tiny man.  He wore green pants and a blue shirt, little brown shoes and a pointy red hat.  He had a long white beard and long white hair.  I blinked at him, certain I had fallen asleep and was dreaming.  Maybe it was actually a mouse I was seeing, I thought to myself.  My jaw dropped to the floor when he strolled to my pile of folded socks and flicked through them.  He frowned at all of them and then glared at me.  Then,  the little man spoke in a tinny, high pitched voice. 

He said, “Excuse me, I really had a fondness for those tiny hats that you had for awhile.  These larger ones are more like ski masks, which are all well and good when my kids are teenagers and want to be outside all winter.  But, they’ve all moved out now and it’s just me and the missus.  Can’t you get me some more of the little ones?”

 Then he wandered back to the TV cabinet and I kept staring at it in disbelief.