An Unexpected Reunion, Part Eight

Simon’s parents and children were quickly enveloped into the warm embrace of my family.  All of my siblings and most of their spouses remembered Simon and his parents from when we were younger.  His children were adorable and needed no more than that to get by with my family, who all loved kids.  Simon was also embraced, although a little more tentatively.  I didn’t think I had ever told anyone why he and I had broken up.  I had just come home one weekend and I was no longer spending all of my time with him. Still, my mother hugged him warmly and my father shook his hand heartily.  They spoke at length, catching up on the past years.

Finally, everyone was occupied, my parents had finished speaking with Simon and moved their attention on to his parents, so I caught his eye and nodded to the door.  He nodded back and we both excused ourselves in that direction.  He took the time to let his mother know where he was going so that she could keep an ear out for the kids; they were happy being entertained by all of my nieces and nephews.  To my surprise, Jake was the one holding Bridget, his almost-adult voice cracking a bit as he cooed at her.  She kept reaching for his ears and he was grinning at her. I smiled as I bundled up in my cold weather gear.

I stepped on the porch and Simon followed, still sliding his arms into his coat.  We silently tromped through the snow down to the bridge.  The world was quiet, hushed by the snow which reflected its brilliance and blinded us.  I wished briefly for my sunglasses.  Then we had entered the woods and the bare branches of the trees helped shield us from the glare.

When we got to the bridge, I stopped and leaned my elbows against the railing, leaning forward over it to look down at the stream below.  I kept my eyes focused on the frozen stream as Simon stopped beside me.  He leaned his back against the railing, his arm just an inch or two from mine.

Slowly, I looked over at him and found him watching me closely.  I lifted an eyebrow at him. He just shook his head and looked away.

“So, Dana, you hugged my mom.  You hugged Bridget. You hugged Effie.  You even hugged my father, when we got to the house today.  You did not, however, hug me.” He sounded petulant, like a small child feeling left out of a game.

“Do you want me to hug you?” I asked, teasingly.

“Sometimes.  Sometimes just talking to you brings back an awful lot of memories I wish weren’t being dredged up.  But sometimes, I just want it to be the way it used to, all laughter and hugs and fun.” He sighed. I knew the conversation was turning serious.

“Sometimes I wish I could go back and do it all over again. You know what I mean?” I said.

“I’ve thought that myself, too.  I always wondered if I’d made more an effort when we were apart at school, if you would have made the decision you had. Since the other night at the mall, though, I’ve had to think again.  I don’t know if anything I could have done would have changed the way you felt and acted at that point.” He sighed. I sighed too.  This conversation wasn’t going the way I wanted it to go.  Think happy thoughts, I told myself.

“Do you believe in second chances?” I asked.

“What do you mean?” He asked.

“Would you be willing to give me a second chance now?  Even after all of these years?” I looked at him steadily, meeting his eyes and not wavering.  I wanted him to know I was asking that question in all seriousness, not out of idleness.

“I can’t imagine why you’d want to try again after so much time.  I mean, why would you want to saddle yourself with a man made bitter from bad relationships and strapped with two young children. Surely you’d rather find a man who fit more with your lifestyle.” He shrugged and looked away.

I laughed harshly. “My lifestyle?  You know what my lifestyle consists of?  I get up, go to work, come home and do my chores. I eat my dinner with just my cat for company, more often than not.  On the weekends, I try to get out to see my friends, but they are mostly married with kids now and don’t have time for me.” I snorted. “I’d be happy to find a man who could help me change my lifestyle!”

He looked back at me with narrowed eyes. “So, why don’t you?”

I looked away and frowned. How honest could I be, I wondered.  I hadn’t anticipated having to bare my most buried secrets to him to get him to take me seriously. I sighed.

“Dana?  You’re an attractive woman, I can’t deny that even now.  Why aren’t you married with babies, yet?” He asked it quietly, without aggression or sarcasm.  If he had used any other tone of voice, I might have chosen not to answer.  But his deep voice rasping with concern and curious question was not something I could deny.

“I think I lost my heart a long time ago, Simon.” I looked away into the woods, feeling my throat close with tears. “I’ve never found anyone who was able to help me reclaim it from you.” I fell silent for a minute.  Simon was also quiet, but I could hear him breathing and see the clouds of his breath out of the corner of my eye.

After the silence had stretched for a long time, I turned back to him and said, “I feel like I’ve been going through the motions of living for years, Simon, but I haven’t felt truly alive since we broke up.  I hadn’t, anyway, until I saw you at the grocery store.”  The tears were running down my cheeks now and I could feel the sobs welling up. I covered my face with my mittened hands and put my head down on the railing.

“Dana, please. Damn, I always hated it when you cried.” His arms were suddenly going around me and he turned so that I was cuddled against his chest.  I cried harder.  I wrapped my arms around his waist, burying my nose into the soft scarf at his neck.  He held me as I cried, stroking my back and murmuring quiet words in my ear. 

As my tears slowed, I began to notice Simon.  I moved my head slightly so that my nose and lips were pressed against the skin of his neck. I inhaled his spicy, masculine scent and, without giving it any thought, flicked my tongue against his skin to taste him.  He inhaled sharply and pulled away.  He looked down at me, his hands cupping my elbows.  He searched my face for a minute and then I could see him surrender.

He slid his hands around me and leaned in to kiss me. I tilted my head up to him and returned the kiss. It was a careful, tentative kiss.  Our lips barely touched, like a swimmer dipping his toes into the pool to test the temperature.  Then, he groaned and pulled me closer.  My head tipped back as far as it would go as he deepened the kiss, like the swimmer diving in to the water.  It was as if all of the years of missing each other were roaring through us and meeting in that kiss.  I’d never felt anything like it.  Just a few minutes before I’d been worrying about baring my soul to Simon, but this kiss went beyond soul-baring. I couldn’t hide my desire for him, my love for him, nor my need for him from him or from myself.  I was surprised to find that it didn’t scare me, because at the same time I was showing him these feelings, he was returning them.  It felt like a meeting of souls.

He finally pulled back from me, cupping my face in his hands and looking into my eyes.  “I think,” he said very softly, “that we will have our second chance.” He kissed me softly one more time and then snuggled me close to him.  We stood there for quite awhile, surrounded by the woods, just holding each other.  We did not speak, we just stood there wrapped in each other’s arms, savoring the feeling of being in each other’s arms again.

On one level, I was absorbed in Simon and the feelings being held by him evoked.  On another level, my mind was racing.  Phase one had been accomplished spectacularly, but phase two loomed.  I would have to get on the phone or email my boss and find out if I could telecommute for awhile. I would need to contact my friend who was caring for my cat during my vacation and ask if she could do it awhile longer.  I would have to talk with my parents about staying longer, and also about the possibility of buying thier house.  I wasn’t sure why, but buying their house and raising a family there was important to me.  I was determined that phase two would lead me to the buying of my family home.  Then I just had to convince Simon that he and I should get married and raise a family there. I sighed and snuggled closer in Simon’s arms, squeezing him tight.

Read the whole story here: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten, and El Fin